Girl, Shutup Talkin that Hate...

Helpful tip...food for thought!

As I reflect over my 2009 and the beginning of 2010 I have noticed a few things about people....most especially women. Now although I am a woman, have a mother, a sister, and many sista friends I truly never realized how much women are their own worst enemy- I truly believe that as a hairstylist who sees many women as clients and the people they work with, I have seen the most, lol. (this goes back to 14 but is present even as I write this).

We as women will find many reasons why we don't like the next one....Actions & Words that have another meaning...

-The need to one up her/talk about everything you are doing or about to do ( trying to make her feel like your life tops hers or is more exciting)
-Bumping your gums to her about everything (not knowing that less is more, you want to appear knowledgeable)
-She think she cute (she is prettier then me but I'm sure as hell not gone tell her)
-She is too quiet ( I need to know more about my competition)
-She think she smart/knows it all ( I think she is smart and I am a little intimidated)
-Ignore her when you see her ( her mere presence makes you insecure)
-Ask her how a jacked up situation is going when you know the answer ( I want to feel better about myself, wow)
-Stop talking to/Get offended when you a real friend ask you about things that may be destructive behavior ( I was honestly called out and I am pissed, even though I know she cares)

...I could go on forever, but you see what I mean. I have found that many times women who are not happy for others, have to name drop/one up, or don't know how to have genuine friendships with equally strong/educated/beautiful women... have a ton of surface friends but very few REAL SISTA FRIENDS!

Black History Month 2010

This being my 25th Black History Month I am very happy to celebrate all the GREATS before me and that will come after me. Now at times 'we' can be unhappy with our place in America, because we still don't unite the way we should or have the same opportunities as more privileged groups or because racism is still very much alive...I see it everyday and I believe it is even stronger in some areas i.e. where I currently work/live...but it makes me want to stay in those areas and let America know, that I am Black n Proud and I'm not going anywhere!

Now although Black History Month is the shortest month of the year there are many things that have happened in this month of February over the years...here some facts that you may or may not know:

2010- Another Black- Miss America (since 1994)
2010- Blacktv247.com launched
2009- 1st Black President
(these were achievements just before Feb)

1997- 24hr Black Movie channel
1990- Nelson Mandela released
1986- 1st African-American woman to host a nationally syndicated talk show
1984- MJ took home 8 Grammy's and broke all sale records
1978- 1st Black Heritage stamp
1976- Negro History Week became Black History Month (it said that Feb. was chosen because of the birthdays of Fredrick Douglas & Abraham Lincoln
1968- 1st African-American to lead a symphony orchestra in U.S- Henry Lewis
1965- Malcolm X assassinated 11 mo. after he split from N of I
1964- Civil Rights Act was passed
1948- MLK ordained as Baptist Minister
1942- Tuskegee Airmen Initiated
1932- Richard Spikes invented the automatic gear shift
1909- NAACP founded


These GREATS were also born: Fredrick Douglas/Langston Hughes/Rosa Parks/Sidney Poitier/Nina Simone/Toni Morrison/Nancy Wilson/Roberta Flack/Smokey Robinson/John Lewis founder of SNCC/Alice Walker/Gregory Hines/Jackie Robinson/Rick James/Natalie Cole/Arsenio Hall/Charles Barkley/Chris Rock


Black is beautiful...

"Beauty is more than a look, it's a lifestyle...so live beautiful" - J.Styles

These are a few of my favorite things...

Supporting Women Entrepreneurs

Just Glam

I love make-up. It is a way to enhance the beauty that already exist and allows you to be creative. I love love love Just Glam Cosmetics because the product is awesome and there is a variety of shadows and powders that actually compliment my skin tone. Nicole is not only a professional business owner but she is a close friend.
www.justglam.com

Beija-Flor Naturals

I love health and natural ways of taking care of myself, so what better way then to use a vegan/vegetarian line of products. Stevonne has perfected the natural body care movement and I'm glad she is my friend.
www.beijaflornaturals.com

Tina Gold

When it comes to jewelry and accessories I am like a kid in a candy store...I LOVE TINA GOLD's jewelry- she is so creative and humble...I met her at the Jazz fest at UCLA and from then on she has been a creative beam of light...deck the world in gold TINA!
http://flybytinagold.blogspot.com

Hey 'girfriend'...stop acting like a wife!

So I've heard it all...The women who grips, writes and has girl talk at their homes about why they can't find a good man, or how they use to pass up good men or how they should lower their standards so they don't fall into they single/non married group. Well guess what, if this is how you feel...STOP...don't settle, don't give more than you're ready to, and don't let your preference/standards change just so you can be in a relationship/married...stand on what you believe and want...God will reward you!

This is for the ladies who have been in a relationship for 1 month or 5 years and you want to be married ( if you are not ready or don't want to then disregard) and you keep asking why won't he marry me?...Well you may want to ask...why should he?

I say this because often times as women we want a man so bad or just don't want to be single that we do WHATEVER it takes to keep a man ( good or not) and we forget to save some things for the man who will be our husband one day. ( just a thought...and if you are reading this, it's never too late to start).

OK, let me paint a picture ( a guys thoughts)... you have a girl who obviously gives 'herself' to you- she cooks for you- is at your house 5+ days a week, or better yet moves you in to her place- or moves her whole life just to near you and she's just your 'girl'- she washes your clothes-splits dinners out and groceries with you-and factors you in to all her future plans- will spend her last dime on you but won't help a girlfriend in need...would there really be any rush to marry her? Now, of curse you may still do it because you love her or you are good man...but even a good man would feel like there would be nothing different once their married. ( save some of you for later)

BUT, now as that girl, let's say it didn't work out and you moved on to date someone else and repeated everything...and again...and again...they guy you finally marry ( if you ever do) will not be able to say that he got the special treatment and you did things for him that other guys didn't get...what would be special about your husband...???

So, this is not to say be a sloppy or uncaring girl but... ladies don't lay everything out for a person that makes you an option when you should be the priority!

Oh so you're 'natural'... are you?

So as 2010 settles in, I am still seeing a trend that has been going on for several years, and that is the 'natural/conscious/back to your roots', whatever you call it...movement. I for one, think it is great. I also believe that making your life more natural and healthy is a plus; from the foods you eat- to the medicines we use- to the products you put anywhere on your body, we have to be smart about our choices.

Now, the focus of this piece is to my sista's who are in the natural movement but half way...lol and criticize other women along the way. Y'all know who I'm talking about...or maybe you don't.

Let's first start with the many looks us sista's wear...

-if you rock the mini afro or natural curl
-if you rock the relaxed short cut
-if you rock the flat iron/press
-if you rock the locks
-if you rock the glam make-up face
-if you rock the acrylic nails or lashes
-no make-up but has the weave/relaxer/etc

...wear what makes you...YOU and feel beautiful but don't be these next sista's...

I had conversations with these two women who were all about natural beauty and accepting the God given beauty (I interacted with them weeks apart): That sounds very good to me but then they got to talking about women who don't accept their natural look, aren't happy with themselves and are ashamed of their roots and woman shouldn't wear weaves or get relaxers because they are trying to have the 'white/American' look...now although I don't agree I could have almost rolled with it because they were expressing themselves (everyone has an opinion)...but then I realized one of the sista's had a mini fro (dyed of course) but had acrylic nails and lashes...WHAT- the other had locks but they were bright blonde and she had on a face full of make-up...so I said to myself..."Are acrylic nails & fake lashes natural"? "IS blonde the natural color of your hair"?

We all know the answer to those questions, but my point is THIS

...don't get so self righteous about one area of your life/look ( if it's your hair) or beliefs and then analyze everyone who doesn't do it your way and criticize them...just be you SISTA'S

I for one have had the relaxer- the nails- the lashes- the weave... at one point or another in my life, however just because I don't rock any of those things at this point, doesn't mean that I should rain on some other woman's 'beauty parade'.

So if you want to:
- wear that fro (dyed or not)
- wear that relaxer
-wear those lashes
-wear that weave or dyed locks
-the make-up
-the nails or that press....Do it, because you can!



“Beauty is more than a look, it’s a lifestyle, so live beautiful!" J.Styles

Dying to be Beautiful

DEATHTRAPS IN THE COSMETICS WE USE by: Vance, Judi

INGREDIENTS IN COSMETICS Cosmetics are anything that we apply to our bodies including soap, toothpaste, shampoo, mouthwash, deodorant and shaving cream. There isn't one person I have ever met who knew anything about cosmetics, and that is because the chemistry of cosmetics has always been cloaked in secrecy. The United States has had labeling laws for the last 20 years, but here in Canada there are no labels on containers. We need to let Health Canada know how seriously we need labels to disclose what is actually in these products.

MOLECULES WHICH PENETRATE THE BODY When you put a coating of creme or shaving gel on your face, these chemicals penetrate the skin and get inside the body, but not everything you put on your skin is actually going to be absorbed. Some molecules are too large to get in, but some are very tiny and can stay in the body for many days. Everyone used to think the skin is the perfect barrier, but one of the transport systems that takes these harmful ingredients into the body is the hair follicle.

SODIUM LAURYL SULFATE Sodium lauryl sulfate is a very strong surfactant that was developed for washing garage floors. The problem is that it denatures protein, and the body is made up of protein. Sodium lauryl sulfate is used in shampoos, toothpaste, lotions and creams. Research shows that it causes damage to the eyes, the cells and the entire body. It can combine with other ingredients in the container and create nitrosamines which cause skin damage and irritation. A dental association in Japan tested sodium lauryl sulfate on bacteria, and found that it is a mutagen which means that it can change the genetics within the cell. In children under six, just the absorption of this ingredient through the scalp every day is enough to prevent their eye proteins from linking up properly. These harmful ingredients are banned in Europe and Central America. Sodium laureth sulfate is also a toxic surfactant (milder but has ether added which is worse) used in shampoos and toothpastes.

PROPYLENE GLYCOL This is anti-freeze. If it spills in the garage, we wipe it up right away because we know that dogs and cats lick it and could die from it. The manufacturer of propylene glycol actually sends out a safety data sheet which states that when applied to the skin it causes liver abnormalities and kidney damage. Propylene glycol has the ability to get into the skin, into the blood stream and into the body where it is stored for days and weeks at a time. It can actually alter brain waves to a state of anxiety. Propylene glycol is used in most cosmetic products, as well as food products like ice cream and muffins. It is a humectant and holds in the moisture. It is used in practically every single lipstick on the market, so has clear access to the limbic system of the brain.

COLOURANTS I wore red lipstick for years and years, and I don't wear it anymore. I don't trust anybody's reds. If you took FD & C Red No.3, which is found in a great deal of cosmetics and put it into a petrie dish with breast tissue, you will find breast cancer. This ingredient is still on the market, and we know it causes cancer.

NAIL POLISH The nails do absorb chemicals from nail polish, remover and the glue used with acrylic nails.

CONTAMINANTS These contaminants do not appear on the label. It is not the cosmetic manufacturers who cause the contamination, but the suppliers of the raw materials. What we want in the industry is to have the actual raw materials cleaned up. Contamination can occur from the cleaning of the plants or from the solvents they use, and most of the products on the market are contaminated. DEA (diethanol amine) is widely used in shampoos, and scientists have been reporting that DEA, whether or not it's a DEA cocamide, mixes with the nitrogen-containing molecule in the same container and creates nitrosamines which get into your body and are carcinogens. Sometimes ingredients which aren't harmful alone may go on to create a formaldehyde or a contaminant. In a recent study, they tested 54 ethoxylated moisturizing ingredients, and found all 54 of them contained exceedingly high levels of 1,4 dioxane which is a powerful xeno-estrogen.

XENO-ESTROGENS Women today have so many problems with their hormones being out of balance with PMS and menopausal symptoms, and this shouldn't be because it doesn't occur in Third World countries, China or Japan. Menopause is a North American disease and it may just be that we have created it through cosmetic use. We have a major problem with hormone mimickers like xeno-estrogens affecting our endocrine systems. A xeno-estrogen communicates with our cells as if it were an estrogen. Many ingredients in cosmetics have the ability to be a xeno-estrogen. If found in a shampoo, it can lower the sperm count in men! And any exposure between the ages of birth to about six years old can definitely alter a child's hormones. So I always say "Mothers if you want your boys to grow up to be cowboys don't put them in a bubble bath!"

EXTRACTION PROCESS We hear a lot today about ingredients coming from natural sources like coconuts. But to get the oil from a coconut and put it into a container of shampoo or face cream, it has to go through some type of chemical process, and in this process, many contaminants are formed. Many of us are not aware that essential oils and other products have been extracted from the plant with solvents like propylene glycol and benzene. There are better ways of doing this such as cold pressing, natural extractions and distilling.

FRAGRANCES Fragrance goes straight into the limbic system of the brain. A friend of mine who is a great researcher sent me some scans of people's brains before and after being exposed to fragrance. Perfumes and fragrances are actually made of 5,000 hydrocarbons which are all synthetics. There are no roses pressed into that beautiful bottle. When a person's body begins to break down, the first thing that happens is they become sensitive to perfumes, room sprays, laundry detergents, etc. We are actually absorbing and breathing these in, and the Environmental Protection Agency lists them as causing nervous disorders and brain disorders, and they are investigating a connection between fragrance and multiple sclerosis, chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia. Anything that a person is breathing in should be absolutely natural, and if you are using essential oils you must make sure that they have not been processed with some type of chemical solvent like propylene glycol or benzene.

ESSENTIAL OILS You cannot assume that the natural essential oils are all naturally processed. Most of them are contaminated, since 95% of companies extract the essential oil with solvents like propylene glycol, and they don't tell you because it's still considered pure oil. When it's contaminated like this, the healing properties of the plant are diminished. Synthetic essential oils are also on the market, and these cannot do the same thing as the natural product. Most of the essential oils must be checked to make sure they are not synthetic and that the extraction process is natural (steam distilled). It is under investigation right now, and will be reported in my newsletters.

BABY PRODUCTS CONTAIN PETROLEUM BY-PRODUCTS AND CARCINOGENS Because shampoos irritate baby's eyes, they put an ingredient called ethylene oxide in the shampoo. Look on the Internet; you won't find one report which doesn't call it a carcinogen. It loads their system up with 1,4 dioxane. Another problem with baby products is that they contain an enormous amount of petroleum by-products like mineral oil and petrolatum, and petroleum by-products can be contaminated with polycyclic hydrocarbons, dangerous carcinogens. Babies do not have immune systems which are able to tolerate these chemicals, so it's very important to have all baby products reevaluated. There is enough fluoride in a tube of toothpaste to kill a child. Children sometimes take too much on their toothbrush and swallow quite a lot.

MELATONIN Not all synthetics are bad. Not one drop of melatonin on the market is natural; it is all synthetically derived, and yet we know that melatonin works and it is not harmful to the body. The synthetic molecule is identical to the natural molecule. It's just that they had to kill thousands and thousands of horses originally to get enough of the natural substance to run studies in the first place. So in some instances, it is preferable to use the synthetic rather than the natural form of the ingredient.